Today I feel like such a hypocrite. I sat outside pondering what to write down today, and began sobbing. Sobbing at the first sign of an emotional post relating to parenthood. And it made me remember what I have had to give up for peace. A relationship with the 2 most cherished people in my life; my son and my daughter. And I miss them – ENDLESSLY. Any mother would. And I know what some may think; how can she leave her children? Every child needs a mother? How can you be so cold?

Surpassing the indescribable reactions to each ideal above, I have chosen to surrender. To release all control to the Higher Powers. And in doing that requires sacrifice and blind faith. I trust that a Force greater than me will keep my children safe, and guide me to my Purpose.

The alternative option would be to sacrifice…

Not many parents speak about the challenges that come with the blessing of parenthood. I can recall an instance where a friend traveled from a distance to help manage my post-natal experience. My request was a 30 minute shower, steaming hot and alone; without worrying about anything or anyone but myself. I yearned for a private sanctuary where I could find myself again, despite pouring energy out of seemingly every orifice of my body.

Much to my dismay, my friend knocked on the door of my bathroom mid-shower, with a crying baby in her arms. Not only was I half lathered and frustrated, but disappointed that one who I thought I could trust to assist me in a time of need could not handle even 30 minutes with a crying baby. This was a training wheel moment; learning I could only truly rely on myself. In the moments I did…

Changing who you are, even for your kids, is dangerous to your health.