Today I feel like such a hypocrite. I sat outside pondering what to write down today, and began sobbing. Sobbing at the first sign of an emotional post relating to parenthood. And it made me remember what I have had to give up for peace. A relationship with the 2 most cherished people in my life; my son and my daughter. And I miss them – ENDLESSLY. Any mother would. And I know what some may think; how can she leave her children? Every child needs a mother? How can you be so cold?

Surpassing the indescribable reactions to each ideal above, I have chosen to surrender. To release all control to the Higher Powers. And in doing that requires sacrifice and blind faith. I trust that a Force greater than me will keep my children safe, and guide me to my Purpose.

The alternative option would be to sacrifice my own life for something outside of myself, which may be the purpose of another; but this was not my purpose. Mine is greater than myself, and though it pains me to experience the detachments that inevitably tear my physical being to shreds, I know that my soul is in the right place. And only God can help me through this, because, to my children, I will love you always, and I pray that one day you will understand.